Throughout my life I have had a love/hate-relationship to Meditation. One part of me knows (probably my Spirit :)) that it is important. We use it to come into contact with ourselves, finding answers to questions we have in our lives and to find peace and stillness. But another part of me hates it (probably my Brain 🙂 ) My Body haven’t had any specific opinion about it, or maybe I did’t hear its opinion about it because I have spent most of my years NOT listening to my body …
When I was new to spirituality I did some meditation but felt resistance. It was soooo boring just sitting there. And I couldn’t sit still. My nose was itching (and I had to itch it), my back was hurting (and I had to adjust my position) and so on … After some years, when I came into contact with the information about the New Time energy and The New Time Children I learned that meditation wasn’t necessary anymore to come into contact with our inner wisdom or Soul/Spirit, because we already had contact. Or at least I interpreted it that way.
Anyway. The instruction in the Master Key Experience this week sounds something like this: “Select a room where you can be alone and undisturbed. Sit erect. Let your thoughts roam where they will but be perfectly still for fifteen minutes. Continue this for a week until you secure full control of your physical being”.
I have done this exercise all week. I live with one of my children in a 3 room apartment, so Monday to Friday it was easy to find the time and space to do this practice. But in the weekends two of my other children (who lives with their father) comes. Suddenly all rooms this morning was occupied and filled with sound. What to do? Find a solution of course! This time I really have made a decision to not let myself down, I want to give myself this experience all in. So I stepped info the closet! 🙂 Normally I do this sitting in the morning in my bedroom, in daylight. But today it was in darkness, which enriched my experience. Normally I do 15 minutes, but today I stretched to 22 minutes, and could have sat longer.
An interesting insight crossed my mind, that I don’t see this as Meditation, I see it as Sitting after reading. And I like it and are now able to see this to becoming a daily habit. The purpose is also important. When I tried to meditate before with the purpose of “being in contact with myself and get information on different situations in my life”, I didn’t do it. Because I already where in contact, living my life and creating it as I wanted to. This time I feel like I’m tricking myself to “sit after reading” instead of “meditate”, but if it works – fine! During the years I have built up a resistance for the word “meditation” but I love to read, and to sit 🙂 So I found a solution for me even if it puts me back in the closet sometimes. I believe that this MKE-course, me finding solutions and doing the work that’s needed will bring ME out of the closet for real and put me out there to serve humanity.
I want to write more books and to give lectures. Right now I’m doing this in Swedish. But a very small part of humanity reads and talk Swedish. To be able to serve (more of) humanity I have to (and want to) express myself in English. I have a perfectionist living inside me, that want’s do do everything Right. But since English is not my mother tongue I can’t do a perfect writing (yet 🙂 ). This have been holding me back. But Here and Now I End that.
To be able to step out of the closet and spread Love to humanity and planet Earth I just need to drop that nonsens … For me authenticity is important. To be honest and loving. To honor myself I write this out here: “From now on I accept that my english is good enough to make myself understood. I appreciate myself for accepting that my english is good enough. I respect and honor myself for appreciating that I accept that my english is good enough”.
Thank you for reading this! You are helping me to grow as a human being and let myself be seen exactly as I AM.
Lots of Love //Malin